The Queen and the Firebird

A story of depth and light.
Of stillness and spark.
Of two people from different stars…
trying to write the same story.

Once upon a time, in a bustling kingdom of pixels, projects, and passion, there lived a Scorpio Queen named Anara. She was a brilliant mind in the palace of creativity, a high-ranking project manager who always had her kingdom in order — deadlines met, dreams aligned, and stories told.

But beyond the iron crown of responsibility, Queen Anara carried a heart that longed for magic. She didn’t just want to be loved — she wanted to be cherished. She dreamed of a prince who would see her, choose her, and make her his universe. A man who could lift the weight off her shoulders and treat her like the royalty she truly was.

One day, the wind carried whispers of a Firebird named Kael, a mysterious traveler from the realm of streaming stars and YouTube towers. He was wild, bold, charming — with a smirk that could melt glaciers and a confidence that set the skies ablaze. He danced on rooftops, chased sunsets, and created sparks wherever he went.

He didn’t follow maps — he followed instinct. And when he flew into Queen Anara’s orbit, he didn’t bow…

He winked.

“You don’t need a crown, Queen,” Kael said, “You just need to fly.”

Queen Anara, both intrigued and annoyed, tried to resist. His world was fast, loud, chaotic. Hers was precise, meaningful, deep. Yet he made her laugh in the middle of board meetings. He texted her at 2AM with ideas that made no sense… but made her smile. He didn’t always understand her silences, but when she cried, he held her — awkwardly, but real.

She wanted roses and poetry.

He brought coffee and impulsive road trips.

She built castles out of words.

He built videos out of chaos.

At times, she wanted to freeze him in place, whisper, “Choose me. Make me your home.”

But he was always halfway into his next flame.

Still… he kept returning.

Not because she asked.

Not because she chased.

But because he felt something he didn’t understand — a fire that didn’t burn wild, but warm. A hearth.

And one night, under the glow of fairy lights and half-written scripts, Queen Anara said:

“I don’t want to clip your wings… but I want to know I matter when you fly.”

Kael paused. He’d never been tamed — and yet, something about her didn’t feel like a cage.

It felt like gravity.

When Fire Meets Depth

The city lights flickered like candle flames behind the rain-streaked windows. The room was dim, wrapped in the golden hush of night, scented faintly with his cologne and her favorite vanilla chai. Somewhere, one of his videos was uploading. Somewhere, emails and alarms waited. But in this moment, time was obedient only to them.

Anara stood by the window, her silk robe barely brushing her thighs, her eyes watching the sky as if waiting for answers. She had given so much — to her job, to the world, to him. But part of her still wondered…

Would he stay?

Could he go deep?

She didn’t hear him enter — only felt the heat of his presence behind her.

“Why do you always look like you’re about to leave?” he asked, his voice low, velvet laced with flame.

She didn’t turn. “Why do you always act like you already have?”

There was silence — but not the cold kind. The electric, charged kind. The kind that lingers between two people who want to say a hundred things but know their bodies will say them better.

He stepped closer. One hand slid around her waist, the other brushed her hair from her neck. She closed her eyes as his lips found the space just beneath her ear — the place he always kissed when he didn’t know how to apologize.

“I don’t mean to fly away,” he whispered. “But you scare me. You make me feel too much.”

She turned to face him then, eyes gleaming like wet ink, stormy but soft. Her fingers pressed against his chest, firm.

“And you make me feel not enough,” she said. “Like I’m just another stop before your next sky.”

His breath hitched. And then, without another word, he lifted her — not in a grand gesture, but in a raw, instinctive one. Carried her to the couch like she was air and gravity at once.

Their mouths met — not gentle, not hurried, but hungry. Like a question and an answer crashing into each other. She clung to him, nails digging slightly into his back, reminding him that she was not a distraction — she was the destination.

His hands were everywhere and nowhere at once — tracing the lines of her collarbone, the dip of her waist, the curve of her thigh. She tugged at his shirt, frustrated by fabric, needing skin. When she moaned against his mouth, he froze.

“Say it,” he whispered, forehead pressed to hers. “Say what you need.”

She looked into his eyes, breathless, vulnerable. “I need to know I’m not just a story for your audience. I want to be the one you come home to — not the one you run from.”

He cupped her face. “You’re not just a story, Anara. You’re the plot twist that changed everything.”

And when they came together, it wasn’t just heat — it was fire and depth. Each touch was an apology. Each kiss, a promise. Her body told him stay. His told her I’m trying.

That night, he didn’t fly.

That night, he stayed.

The First Spark

They weren’t supposed to be alone.

The team dinner had ended, the others had drifted off one by one — excuses mumbled, Ubers hailed, goodbyes exchanged. But Anara and Kael remained, two stubborn souls orbiting the last candle on the rooftop lounge.

It was late. The city was quiet in that seductive, in-between hour where everything feels possible and forbidden all at once.

Anara sipped the last of her sangria, her heels off, legs folded underneath her on the sofa. Her hair was slightly messy from laughter, and her eyes shimmered — not from the wine, but from something unnamed, electric.

Kael watched her from across the fire pit. He was still wearing that damn leather jacket, sleeves pushed up, revealing forearms that made her brain go quiet. His smile was lazy, but his gaze? Focused. Like he was trying to memorize her.

“You’re not what I expected,” he said finally.

She raised a brow. “What did you expect?”

“A little colder. A little more… boss lady ice queen.”

He smirked. “Instead, you’re fire. Quiet fire. Controlled but deadly.”

Her lips curved. “And you’re exactly what I expected.”

“Oh yeah?” he grinned. “Charming and irresistible?”

“Infuriating,” she replied, standing. “But weirdly interesting.”

She started to gather her bag, but he stood too — fast, like he wasn’t ready for the night to end.

“Wait,” he said, stepping in front of her. “Just… one thing.”

His hand reached out, fingers brushing hers. It was such a light touch, but it stopped her completely. She looked up at him — her heart suddenly racing in a way it hadn’t in years.

“I’ve been trying to not do this,” he murmured.

“Do what?”

He leaned in slowly, his hand rising to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear — lingering just a little too long. The tension between them tightened like strings on a violin, quivering with anticipation.

“This,” he whispered, and his lips found hers.

It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t shy. It was the kind of kiss that steals your breath and then gives it back sweeter. The kind that says, I see you. I want you. I’m not sure what this is — but I’m not running from it.

Her hands clutched his jacket. His fingers tangled in her hair. And for a moment, the city disappeared. There was no audience. No next video. No unread messages or unanswered questions.

Just him. Just her. And the kind of kiss you write about later.

When they finally pulled apart, he looked dazed — like even he didn’t expect it to feel that real.

“So,” he said, voice husky. “Still think I’m infuriating?”

She didn’t answer. She just kissed him again.

Stay

They didn’t plan to end up in her apartment.

But the kiss outside the rooftop lounge didn’t end.

Not really.

Kael had reached for her hand, casually at first. Then possessively. Then like he was afraid letting go would mean waking up.

Anara didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to.

Her silence was permission.

Her eyes were an invitation.

Inside her apartment, the air was different — warmer, closer. Her bookshelves, her candles, her music playing softly in the background — it was all so her.

And he loved it.

He loved her world.

“You light up a room without even trying,” he murmured, brushing his fingers down her arm as she slipped off her jacket.

She turned to him slowly, backlit by the glow of amber lights and curiosity.

“And you set fire to things you don’t understand,” she whispered. “Is that what this is for you? Just another spark?”

Kael’s jaw tightened. He stepped closer, his voice lower.

“No. This is the one I don’t want to lose control of.”

“But I already am.”

She looked up at him — a flicker of doubt in her Scorpio eyes. Not because she didn’t want him.

Because she wanted him too much.

And wanting, for her, was dangerous.

But when he touched her cheek — gently, reverently — she didn’t pull away.

His lips found hers again, slower this time. Like he was memorizing the curve of her mouth, the way she sighed into him. Her fingers gripped his shirt, dragging him into her space. Into her orbit.

Clothes came off in pieces — not frantic, but deliberate.

The way she slid his shirt off like she was unwrapping a secret.

The way he kissed each inch of her skin like he was trying to rewrite every place she’d ever felt unwanted.

They found the bed in a tangle of kisses and gasps.

He hovered above her, eyes scanning her face like she was a poem he didn’t deserve to read.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered, breath shaky.

“Stay,” she answered, voice softer than he’d ever heard.

And so he did.

He stayed — not just in body, but in presence. In awe.

He explored her like a map, tracing every curve, memorizing the way she arched when his lips brushed her collarbone, the way she whispered his name like a secret.

“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever touched,” he said, voice rough, fingers trailing along her hip.

“That’s because I’m not someone you touch and forget,” she said, pulling him down to her. “I’m someone you feel long after you’re gone.”

But he didn’t go.

Not that night.

He made love to her like she was his anchor and his muse. And she welcomed him like a storm she’d been waiting her whole life to surrender to.

They didn’t sleep much.

But they held each other after — her head on his chest, his fingers tracing invisible lines on her back.

For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel alone.

And for the first time ever, he wondered what it might be like… to belong.

The One who Care More

The fight wasn’t loud.

Not at first.

But it cut deeper than raised voices ever could.

It started with a text he didn’t answer.

Then a story he posted — laughing with someone else, somewhere else, while she sat at a café alone, waiting.

Anara told herself not to care.

She told herself he’s like this. Unpredictable. Free. Unapologetic.

But when he walked in later that night with that same breezy smile, something inside her snapped.

“Did you forget?” she asked calmly, arms crossed, voice too quiet.

Kael blinked. “Forget what?”

“Dinner. My event. The one I told you about twice.”

He shrugged, too casual. “Babe, I thought it was next week.”

“Of course you did,” she said, standing. “Because nothing sticks unless it’s about you.”

The room shifted. He narrowed his eyes. “That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?” Her voice rose now. “You disappear. You reappear. You post your life online like I’m not even part of it.”

Kael took a step back, arms folding in defense. “So now we’re keeping score?”

Anara’s jaw clenched. “No. I’m just tired of pretending I don’t notice.”

“Pretending? I thought we weren’t that serious.”

Silence.

It hit her like cold water.

The phrase — not that serious — like a slap.

“Then why are you in my bed, Kael?” she said, eyes stinging. “Why do you kiss me like I’m the only thing that makes sense? Why do you stay, if I don’t matter?”

He didn’t answer. Not right away.

And that silence was its own kind of answer.

She turned. “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I made all this up in my head.”

“Anara, wait—”

But she was already walking toward the door.

“You wanted freedom,” she said, pausing before she left. “Now you have it.”

When He Realized

She didn’t text the next day.

Or the one after.

Kael tried to distract himself — shoots, scripts, stories — but everything felt flat.

No clever caption could fix the hollowness.

He rewatched an old clip — one where she laughed at something he said off-camera. She wasn’t even in frame, just a voice behind the lens. But the sound of it…

God, he missed her.

And then came the photo.

Anara. At dinner. With someone else.

Not a romantic post — not at all — but her smile wasn’t broken anymore.

That’s when it hit him.

She wasn’t bluffing.

She was gone.

The weight crushed him. All his life he’d kept things light, casual, free. But now he realized what real risk was.

Losing the one person who saw all his chaos and stayed anyway.

The Confession

She was in her apartment, curled up with a book, trying not to feel everything — when the knock came.

She opened the door.

There he stood.

Rain-soaked. Breathless. Eyes wild like he’d just run through the storm for her — and he had.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered.

Kael stepped forward. Not too close. Just enough.

His voice was rough, raw.

“I thought I could live without needing anyone. I thought I could love you on my terms. I was wrong.”

Her lips parted. He continued.

“I’m in love with you, Anara.”

“Not the easy kind. Not the filtered kind. The terrifying, inconvenient, I see forever when I look at you kind.”

“You make me want to be better. You make me afraid — because this isn’t just passion. It’s home.”

A single tear slid down her cheek — not because she was weak, but because she’d waited to hear it. Waited to matter out loud.

“Say it again,” she said softly.

“I love you.”

She stepped into his arms. Kissed him like an answer. Like a yes.

And that night, they didn’t need words.

They had skin.

And silence.

And the kind of closeness that only comes after breaking.

(stf – 13 April 2025)

The Salamander Theory

Nope, this isn’t a tale about three salamanders, though there’s a little critter connection here.

So, picture this: it’s your typical weekend night, and the squad—aka me and the ladies—decides to get together, like we always do… sporadically. Yeah, it’s a “whenever we feel like it” kind of deal. We’re not the greatest planners. I once got really ticked off because they couldn’t stick to a plan I’d painstakingly organized. That was the last time I ever played the planner, and we sort of agreed to just wing it from there on out. Surprisingly, it became a regular thing.

Now, back to our title. My best friend, let’s call her “Q,” is musing about how she’s always the one catching feelings in these casual setups. She’s wondering why women tend to get attached even when they know it’s supposed to be “no strings attached.” And that’s when I thought of the movie “Set It Up.” I tell Q that the lead character in that flick is facing the same conundrum. She’s always in the dating phase, never reaching relationship status. The lead male character suggests she treats guys like salamanders

The Theory

Here’s the theory. Naturally, I had to Google this theory. It turns out, salamanders are pretty delicate creatures, not meant for constant petting and handling. Frequent human contact can stress them out and possibly do them harm. Plus, their sensitive skin can absorb all sorts of stuff from our hands, like oils, salts, and chemicals, which isn’t great for their health. So, just like salamanders, guys might not fare well if we get too clingy, always asking where they are, texting, calling, and basically sticking to them like glue.

According to the Salamander theory, that’s a no-go. Q couldn’t stop laughing, and she thought my theory was both fresh and made sense. I presented it matter-of-factly.

And if this theory holds water, what’s the game plan? Well, you shouldn’t have just one “salamander” (aka guy), you should have three. Rotate your attention, and they won’t feel like you’re breathing down their necks. They’ll stay alive, and you’ll keep them around longer—unless they evolve into gentlemen and stop being “salamanders.”

And then, just recently, I decided to put the Salamander Theory to the test. And you know what? It works. When one “salamander” bites the dust, I’m not shedding tears and feeling all sorry for myself because I’ve still got two “salamanders” to handle with care. Why three? Well, four’s a crowd, and two’s too few to have a backup when one of your “salamanders” is on the brink. So, ‘3’ is the magic number.

Not all salamander worth to handling

You know, there are those times when you’ve got a pet, but it’s a strict “look, but don’t touch” policy.

Salamanders, well, they’re like the celebrities of the pet world. They’re better suited for the paparazzi, not the cuddles. You can be their audience, watch them in their element, marvel at their natural antics, and cater to their needs without making them stress out or get all jittery. If you’re after a pet you can hang out with regularly, maybe go for something a bit more extroverted, like some of those party animal reptiles or cute little mammals.

See, just like not every salamander is up for a handshake, not every single guy who finds us attractive needs a dinner date. Sometimes, it’s perfectly fine to kick back and observe, see how they roll in their natural habitat, all from a safe distance. ?

Declutter My Life

The year 2020 proved to be challenging for me and for people worldwide due to the global struggle caused by the pandemic. Working from home for almost 11 months significantly altered my lifestyle. Without the daily interactions with friends at work, my focus shifted to discussions with my laptop, transforming me as a person.

One positive aspect was that I became more attuned to myself, engaging in self-reflection and pondering what I truly wanted in life. I realized I had been merely going along with the flow without truly listening to my own desires.

Despite this newfound awareness, a void lingered within me, and I struggled to find passion in anything. To address this, I experimented with new activities like doodling, scrapbooking, and book coloring, finding temporary solace. However, each attempt eventually led to distraction, and the void persisted.

On December 31, 2020, I watched “The Minimalists: Less is Now” on Netflix. The documentary shed light on my habit of accumulating things that added little value to my life. The Minimalists, Jason and Ryan, shared their experiences, and I felt a connection with their message. While I may not be a hoarder, I realized I often spent money on unnecessary items, lured by their fleeting charm.

The Minimalist Blog (https://www.theminimalists.com/) provided further insight into my struggles with focus and priorities. Acknowledging this, my resolution for the year is to refocus my priorities by decluttering my life. I aim to create space for items that genuinely add value.

Inspired by The Minimalists, I plan to undertake the 30 Day Minimalism Game as a beginner. Interested in my journey? Stay tuned for updates on my challenge!

Cheers,

Because It’s My First Time… in Paris

I never thought of undertaking this journey alone. I am not that type of person, or at least, that was what I thought of myself. Until now, travelling has always been a fun activity for me, where I am not afraid of ‘being lost’ in that place. I vividly remember when I went to Singapore a few years ago with my friend. I heavily relied on her for directions, destinations, and even how to communicate. Well, Singapore, being the nearest neighbor, is still relatively easy for solo travel. But at that time, I did think, without my friend, I would surely be confused and lost.

Then, the opportunity arose. The chance to visit Europe again. This time, without the fear of getting lost, I gathered up the dreams that had been postponed since 2011, the first time I set foot on the continent.

Charles De Gaulle

We arrived at Charles De Gaulle International Airport in France at 21:30 Paris time (if I remember correctly). Still half-conscious from the long hours of flight, my travel companion and I followed the flow of other passengers to collect our baggage, contemplating how to get from Charles De Gaulle to Chessy, a town located an hour outside Paris.

Even though it was only 21:30 local time, airport activities like the information center were already closed. We were greeted only by stern-faced security personnel. None of the male or female security officers gave a ‘welcome’ expression to either of us. In my thoughts, I pondered how ‘cold’ this city seemed.

At that hour, Charles De Gaulle Airport didn’t leave a ‘Wow’ impression on me. I didn’t even have time to observe the design or architecture of the airport. The two of us were solely focused on figuring out how to get to the train station and head towards Chessy. Our ‘homework’ was not only to find out how to get to the train station but which train to take and how to purchase tickets. Honestly, I was of no use at that moment. Despite efforts to inquire here and there, I relied on my friend :(. After wandering around the airport for over an hour, we finally found clarity. Yes, we eventually found the train that would take us to Chessy

suburb area

EuroDisneyland, Paris

Although it’s called Euro Disneyland, Paris, it is not located in the city of Paris. Euro Disney is situated in Chessy, a small town outside Paris, requiring approximately 1 hour by train to reach our destination. Yes, because we also participated in the Half Marathon event at Run Disney 2018, we had to stay near the event location.

The atmosphere changed as we exited the subway towards the surface. Cold air immediately hit us. Luckily, I was still wearing a hoodie and training pants, so I got some warmth, but it didn’t last long. Long story short, we arrived at the hotel named New York Hotel at 23:30 locale time. Hungry and cold, but our tired bodies conquered all. We all collapsed on the bed.

I will share about the Half Marathon event in a separate post.

Paris, We are Here!

finally i see this in front of my eyes

We moved towards the city of Paris after the Half Marathon event because there were several seminars taking place in downtown Paris. However, Mon Dieu! The journey with the subway, or called ‘Metro’ in Paris, was not as picturesque as I imagined.

Dragging the suitcase, which weighed almost 20kg, was indeed exhausting. Not to mention, I also carried a backpack with a laptop. Initially, it was enjoyable (at the airport), but when entering uneven and rocky terrain, I had to balance between keeping up to avoid losing my friend and ensuring the suitcase wheels didn’t break. Moreover, many Metro stations in Paris turned out to have no escalators, so we had to go up and down stairs with a considerable number of steps. And here we are, pushing the luggage in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Parisians.

Heading to our hotel on Notre Dame de Lorette Street was full of challenges. Stairs adorned our journey every time we changed stations. We sweated profusely in the cold autumn air. However, I couldn’t hide my admiration for the surroundings. I watched Parisians busy rushing for the train—although no one helped us—with amazement. I was also amazed by their train stations.

Finally, we arrived at the last station, and from there, we exited the Metro. Once I reached the surface, I was faced with the beautiful city as I had imagined. I remember vividly, in front of the exit of St. George Metro station, there was a roundabout, with a fountain in the middle, and although the roundabout was small, the surrounding buildings had beautiful Parisian architecture. And then I just realized, we were in Paris!

Metro, Roof Tops, Sidewalk Cafe & Stones road

I can’t explain how beautiful this city is. I know earlier I complained about the Metro in Paris. But after wandering around with the Metro and buses in Paris several times, I found enjoyment in this fashion city. Eiffel, Louvre, or even Versailles is beautiful, but what makes me like the city are the ordinary sights that are everywhere in Paris.

A little fact that I know, after sufficient exploration. Every Metro station has a different theme. I didn’t have the time to ask my friend about this, as I only realized it later. Some are ordinary, some are themed. Each station leaves an impression and becomes an object of my observation.

The cobbled roads that I complained about are a witness to the age of a city. I found that stone roads are part of the history of the city. I discovered the beauty in every cobbled street I walked on. I feel like I want to explore every street in the city of Paris.

 

A busy and beautiful city. I know, many films showcase the lifestyle of Parisians with rows of sidewalk cafes. That’s true. When night falls, the beauty of this city transforms. The city is filled with lights and the sparkle of light reflecting from wine glasses. Not to mention the handsome Parisians, both in their faces and their unique fashion styles.

I didn’t want to miss out. Trying to adapt to the style of the Parisians, we sat in one of the cafes in Le Marais, a trendy area in Paris. We enjoyed wine and savored the night.

Eiffle, Louvre, Versailles and Père Lachaise

Magnificent! is the word that describes each of these places. Each of them has its own beauty.

Le Louvre, as the Parisians call this museum. Consisting of 3 parts, you can find famous works such as paintings by Leonardo Da Vinci, including the Mona Lisa, here. It took us 6 hours to explore all 3 parts of the Louvre. And for your information, I didn’t see all of it. Some parts I just walked past without seeing what’s in it. The ticket, around 20 euros, is truly worth it.

Thank God. I have a friend in Paris. His name is François, and he has a car to drive me to Versailles. Turned out it was located outside Paris too. It took around 1 hour by car.

Versailles is a superbly magnificent and extraordinary compound. Even from the gate, it already left me in awe.

La Tour Eiffel, surely you must know. A landmark that you must visit when you’re in Paris. Unfortunately, I had a bad experience when visiting this landmark. However, that experience taught me to be more careful, especially when I separate from my friend later.

Lastly, there is Père Lachaise. If you’re not familiar, it is a cemetery area. Don’t imagine graves like in Tanah Kusir or Jeruk Purut. Père Lachaise is more like a museum than a cemetery area. You need a map to navigate this cemetery area, especially if you want to find the graves of famous figures. Mentioning Frédéric Chopin, Edith Piaf, Oscar Wilde, Marcel Proust, and even Jim Morrison. Père Lachaise is the largest cemetery area in the city of Paris. I don’t know why, but of all the landmarks I mentioned above, this place is where I could most enjoy during my visit.

tempat menyimpan abu setelah kremasi

Those little things

Beside all the tourism experiences, there are many small things that actually make me want to stay longer in Paris. The greeting “Bonjour Madam” every time I step into a shop or restaurant during the day. Or the aroma of bread from boulangerie shops and how they are very strict about the opening times of the restaurant (though it’s only 5 minutes away, they forbid us to enter the restaurant :D). Or how they speak to each other in French. Even the cheese shop where my French friend and I shop for groceries, I found it interesting and will miss it dearly.

I would love to go back there, but the second time, I don’t want to solo travel again. There is indeed tranquility and freedom when you’re solo traveling, but there is also a feeling of loneliness when you need to discuss something you see while you’re traveling or when your inner child is eager to go out and do random things and be spontaneous. Well, that’s another goal that I must achieve before I die.

Cheers,

First 5km

Tanggal 30 Juli 2017 adalah saat bersejarah untuk kehidupan olahraga saya. Iya, saya mengikuti 5km pertama di ajang event besar skala nasional yaitu Pocari Run West Java Marathon 2017.

Mengingat ke belakang, saya ingat sekali, saya pernah berkata, saya tidak akan mau berlari kecuali kalau dikejar anjing. Apalagi kepikiran buat jadiin lari olahraga rutin. Ewwww…! begitu saya suka berkata kepada orang-orang. Hahaha.. never say never. Sepertinya dek Justin Bieber kalau denger cerita ini, pasti menertawakan saya. Saya yang kemakan omongan saya sendiri.

Dulu memang saya akui, saya pernah berkata seperti itu. Tapi kemudian terjadi metamorfosis “badanku dulu tak segini..” dan saya membutuhkan olahraga rutin. Saya pernah zumba, yoga, gym, pound fit, tapi semua itu tidak long lasting karena memerlukan pengajar dan tentu saja tidak murah. Lalu saya lihat teman saya olahraga lari dan latihan 3x seminggu, dalam 3 bulan turun banyak.

Alhasil, mau tak mau (asli ini semata-mata karena awalnya saya pikir lari adalah olahraga mudah dan murah) saya coba-coba ikut olahraga lari. Saya dibawa teman saya, Epat untuk ikutan #NRCJKT , klub lari dengan sponsor dari Nike. Pengalaman pertama ikutan #NRCJKT, saya ditawari menu. Sayangnya bukan menu babi panggang dan nasi gurih plus sambal bawang (seadainya beneran :p ) tapi menu kecepatan. Oalaah, saya yang nubie tentu saja bertanya, apa itu. Ternyata para pacer ini (orang yang mengatur kecepatan lari) bertanya saya mau ikutan di kecepatan mana. Pilihan menu keepatan ada pace 4 s/d 8. Misalnya kamu pilih 4 berarti kecepetan per Km kamu adalah rata-rata 4 menit.  Karena pilihannya paling cepat adalah pace 4, saya tentu saja cari paling lambat. Saya minta pace 10 tapi ternyata maximal 8. Ya sudah apa boleh buat.

Diluar dari hasil kesan pertama adalah saya mengutuk-ngutuk para pacer yang membuat saya megap-megap kehabisan napas dan berharap saya bisa pingsan. Tapi di satu sisi, ikutan #NRC itu memberikan informasi tehnik berlari dengan benar. Diajarin pemanasan yang benar supaya ga cedera, atau streching juga latihan core muscles supaya kencang perutnya.  Minus larinya, latihan core muscle itu yang bikin saya mungkin bisa suka #NRCJKT.

Awalnya gak rutin, tapi metamorfosis ‘badanku sekarang jadi segini..” bikin saya mau tak mau harus berolahraga. For the sake of ukuran celana dan ukuran baju. Mulai dari situ, saya jadi rutin. Kadang kadang Sabtu pagi juga lari, tapi lebih sering seminggu dua kali setelah selesai bekerja di kantor.

Ikut satu race, jadi ketagihan ikut race-race lainnya. Tapi ternyata ga murah ya olahraga lari itu. Apalagi kalau event-nya besar. Rata-rata diatas Rp. 100,000 rupiah untuk event besar. Kalau sebulan ada dua aja, sudah Rp. 200.000 an. Belum kalau harus pagi-pagi ke venue, biaya transportasi (harus taxi karena tidak akan ada yang anterin saya) dan apalagi kalo race-nya di luar kota. Hahaha.. ini saya belum hitung dengan perlengkapan lari seperti celana dan baju dry fit yang rata-rata Rp.600.000 (padahal cuma celana pendek / kaos oblong). Saya belum sampai ke gadget tracking seperti Garmin watch, Sunto, dll. Luarrr biasa pokoknya.

Tapi sudah kepalang buat mundur, pun goal saya juga belum tercapai. Lari buat bisa dapatin bikini body. Gak gampang, karena ada latihan muscles dan diet. Amin-amin amin semoga tercapai. Di samping itu saya coba nikmatin saya. Saya memang tidak berminat jadi atlet lari atau pengen tembus marathon gituh sih, jadi olahraga lari ini saya gunakan untuk jaga badan dan kesehatan.

Sekarang sudah Agustus, awal September besok sudah ada race menunggu, setelah itu tunggu saja, saya pasti akan ikutan race lagi.

Ambil race pack

Ketemu Melani Putri – BA Pocari

Ketika napas terengah-engah dan masih 2KM to go

Finally, finish!

Bersama teman-teman baru..

Intelligence of a Mouse

image taken from carmillaonline.com

Malam yang panjang. Saya tidak tidak bisa tidur.  Ini bukan karena kopi encer tadi sore. Pikiran saya sedang ruwet dan salah satunya adalah kekesalan saya terhadap tikus-tikus yang bebas keliaran di rumah.

Tolong jangan membayangkan bahwa saya memelihara tikus. Meski beberapa kali saya mendapati suara ‘klotak-klotek’ yang disusul suara “Ciit…ciit…ciit” di loteng atau di dapur, saya sempat berpikir, ‘Ahhh…ternyata si tikus’ dan itu membuat saya lega. Ha!  Kelegaan saya bahwa itu suara tikus kadang membuat saya sendiri heran. *sigh*.

Kenapa sih rumah saya terkesan bebas. Hmm.. jadi rumah saya memiliki area untuk jemur pakaian  dan setrika di atas rumah dengan akses terbuka. Artinya, tanpa pintu dan tanpa penutup dari balkon atas sehingga, siapapun, apapun, dari air hujan, kucing garong, tikus sampai maling bisa masuk ke rumah sebenarnya. Hmm.. kalau dipikir kok bahaya yaa?!

Kembali ke kekesalan saya dengan tikus-tikus keparat itu. Pernah berurusan dengan tikus? Sudah pasti reaksi pertama begitu tahu ada tikus di rumah adalah naik ke atas kursi, eer,..bagaimana menangkapnya? Dulu alm bapak selalu menggunakan lem tikus. Ini adalah kemajuan karena jauuuhh sebelumnya, bapak malah masih menggunakan alat perangkat yang berbentuk kotak dari besi, dengan penjepit dan umpan yang dipasang (umpan bisa  berupa daging, ikan, apa aja. Ya, tidak harus keju seperti di kartun-kartun).

Bagaimana cara menaruh perangkap dengan lem tikus? Saya dan ibu saya hanya menaruhnya di jalur-jalur dimana para tikus-tikus itu biasa jalan-jalan. Hmm.. ngeselin memang. Bahkan tikus saja bisa jalan-jalan. -___- ‘ Kami pernah menangkap 2 di 1 papan lem, atau tidak sama sekali. Kalau tidak ada sama sekali, saya berpikir, apa tikus ini pintar? Apa mereka memiliki kapasitas belajar dari pengalaman kah?

Tetapi menurut pengamatan sepihak saya yang tidak terlalu scientific, hipotesa itu benar. Ibu bercerita bahwa ia melihat sendiri, tikus itu lari memutari papan lem bukannya melewatinya. Saya mendengarnya ‘wtf’?! Saya coba lagi. Saya taruh papan lem di bawah kulkas. Karena beberapa minggu lalu, perangkap saya berhasil disana. Namun kali ini saya tidak berhasil. Benar juga kata ibu, tikus itu belajar dari pengalaman. Geez… Tapi saya tidak mau kalah. Setelah di bawah kulkas tidak berhasil, saya pindahkan perangkat di bawah rak sepatu. Voila! That a damn right decision. Tidak lama kemudian, jebakan saya di bawah rak sudah memiliki 1 pengguni dengan suara ‘ciit..ciiit…ciit’ yang melirih.

Saya dan ibu ‘high-five’ kemenangan. Kami mengamati tikus yang menggeliat mencoba untuk keluar dari papan lem. Senyum sinis keluar dari sudut mulut saya. Lalu ibu memutuskan untuk membiarkan dulu. Beberapa hari, si tikus yang terperangkap mendapatkan teman lain pada saat saya menganggap mereka punya intuisi tajam adanya jebakan yang masih dipasang. Ternyata, masih ada saja tikus rookie yang tidak tahu ada jebakan disitu. Voila! two in one.  Saya dan ibu tertawa puas karena kami masih menang.

Two mouses have gone, but we don’t know how many that still gonna come and ‘play’ to our house. Our battle never ends. Tapi setidaknya, kami mulai memahami habit mereka, dan mengatur strategi baru setiap kali ada yang terperangkap.

Sebuah Helaan Nafas

Sebuah helaan nafas malam ini kuambil beberapa kali

Sebuah helaan nafas mengartikan kesal
Sebuah helaan nafas mengartikan heran
Sebuah helaan nafas mengartikan pengertian
Sebuah tarikan panjang nafas membawa energi
Sebuah helaan panjang nafas mengeluarkan emosi
Sebuah tarikan panjang nafas menyertakan luka
Sebuah helaan panjang nafas membuang pengharapan
Sebuah tarikan ke dalam membawa rasa kekuatiran
Sebuah helaan ke luar menyertakan keputusasan
Sebuah tarikan ke dalam membawa kesedihan di mata
Sebuah helaan ke luar memasangkan topeng ceria
Sebuah helaan nafas malam ini kuambil beberapa kali
dan kusadari ada lara hati disana
dan kusadari kasih tak sampai menyelinap disana
dan kusadari tetes tetes dari sudut jendela hati
dan kusadar,…. sebuah helaan nafas panjang kembali kuambil malam ini

 

Songs understand me

You know, sometimes when you’re in blue, songs understand you better  especially if the problem is your romantic relationship.

And I don’t know why broken heart songs seems so easy to create than happy songs. Really… why people suddenly become a poet when they are sad or in sorrow. Like sadness, loneliness, sorrow dig the creative nerve and voila! A poem is made. But, maybe it’s depends from the person. When I am sad, or angry, I don’t feel creative, I just want to kill people and crash him in to pieces.

Anyway….

I see you through smoky air, trying hard to control my heart. Still I refrain from talking at you. But, you know me well, I don’t need to explain. I gave all I could, but why you’re still call me your friend when you want me naked in your bed?

I am sure I am not being rude, but it’s your attitude that tearing me apart. Don’t call me at 3AM just to say ‘How you are missed me’, but then why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

I am such a fool for you. You’ve got me wrapped around your finger. And I’m in so deep. Don’t you know, I never wanted anyone like this, It’s all brand new. Can’t you feel the weight of my stare, you’re so close but still a world away. I need a little more

But what the hell, why do you think I come ’round like this on my free will? Wasting all my precious time.

And all left me so sore, the thing that makes me mad, is the one thing that I had,

I knew I’d lose you. You’ll always be special to me. You said I was on your mind. Will I forget in time?

—–

So, can you guess, what songs that I make for this prose? 😀

untitled

“Yup! Kata orang penyesalan selalu datang terlambat. Kata itu kini menjadi hantu yang menjadi mimpi burukku setiap malam. “Andai saja…” atau “Kalau saja..” menjadi dua kalimat yang sangat aku harapkan bisa menjadi kenyataan.

“Kamu itu udah egois, keras kepala pula..” begitu kamu sering berujar. Keras kepala seperti batu, dan egois, hmmm…itu mungkin adalah salah dua sifat jelek yang aku punya. Jangankan orang lain, aku sendiri pun sering capek dengan diriku yang selalu seperti itu. Tapi entah kenapa, kamu bisa tahan terhadap diriku. Kata kamu, sifat jelekku mengeluarkan efek positif dari dirimu. Hahaha.. you make me ugly so you can look better.. damn you!

 

But that’s why we got along each other, right honey? Kamu menjadi sosok yang membuatku bisa tersenyum bahkan ketika aku sedang sangat menyebalkan.

“Baby, i love you so much, kalau aku bersamamu, dunia terasa milik berdua, yang lain ngontrak” begitu kamu sering merayu. Aku tau dunia bukan milik berdua, pertama ada ratusan juta orang di dunia ini, kedua, karena ada sekian ratus laki yang mungkin akan berujar sama seperti kamu. But, honey, i believe you! Meski rayuan kamu klise dan standar abis,

aku selalu percaya kamu. I believe we can create our own world, our own heaven.

Kadang kamu suka heran, kenapa aku sangat percaya kepadamu? Disaat kamu merasa dunia ini sangat berat dihadapi, kamu heran aku tetap percaya padamu. But honey, why wouldnt I? Mengapa tidak?

Kamu adalah bintang di hidupku. Kamu telah bersinar dihati dan di duniaku. That’s why I’ll never lose my faith in you. Itu juga yang kini membuatku bertahan saat kau tidak ada. But, honey, at first it was hard..

 

Surgaku seakan hancur…

Duniaku luluh lantak,

Kenapa kenyataan tidak selalu seperti yang aku inginkan.

Tapi akhirnya aku menerimanya. Aku menerima bahwa kita tidak lagi bersama. Aku menerima memang sudah saatnya kamu pergi. It’s all right. I know you’re out there. I believe it.

 

Apa kamu tahu kenapa sayang? Because you are my first star at night.

Sinarmu selalu menerangi diriku. Dan aku selalu teringat ketika kamu bilang aku adalah bumi untukmu. Awalnya aku tidak mengerti, namun kini aku tahu yang kamu maksudkan.

 

If I was your earth, then you are my soul satellite. And i’ll be so lost in space without you.

 

So, i will not say goodbye to you my love, aku akan menganggap perpisahan ini hanya sementara. Kita tetap akan memiliki surga kita sendiri. I’ll never lose my faith in you..

 

So, i’ll say Au Revoir, but this isn’t goodbye..”

 

Perempuan itu meletakkan surat yang sudah ia tulis dan baca berulang-ulang. Ia membaca sekali lagi seakan-akan takut ada yang terlewat. Tapi semua sudah terkatakan dalam surat itu. Ia memasukkan ke dalam botol dan menyumbatnya dengan gabus. Lalu ia menatap nama di atas batu granit hitam seakan-akan tatapannya bisa membelai sosok yang kini hanya dalam kenangannya.

“Rest in peace my soul satellite. We’ll meet again” lalu perempuan itu melangkah dengan pasti keluar dari areal pemakaman. Senyum samar terbentuk di wajahnya.

 

-3 Apr 2011-