Category: Serious thing

I heard that one of my dearest person have trouble in her marriage. What I heard was that her husband got someone new. She is working with him at the office and maybe they’re partner because what I heard they’re often done the business trip together. Bottom line is this woman is very possible become the other woman.

Hearing about ‘affair’ is not new for me. That issue is in front of my own nose. My friend does it, my friend’s friend is doing it, others are looking for it. It is more like a trend or lifestyle in big city that you at least try it ( i mean ‘it’ is having an affair). But what I see is as long that’s not happen to me nor my close family, I see this matter is personal and their privacy.

But, after I heard about my dearest person is having trouble in her marriage because an affair, it struck me like a knock in my head. Gak habis piker deh, I can’t stop thinking why he could done such thing? I know him as a gentleman. Very polite, have manner, love my dearest person very much, and very mature and nurturing my dearest person. That’s why I keep asking my self “How come he did that to my dearest person?” And the question comes further. “What makes people doing affair?”  “What level of trouble in marriage that can make one of part doing affair?”, “How damage in the marriage, that make other part doing an affair?” “Is there no other way?” “Why …. and How come….” and the list go on and on. If you think I am naive, so be it. But what I see is if the affair is the answer of marriage problem / relationship problem, why bother to end up being married or being in relationship?

My opinion about affair actually I don’t agree about it. I don’t like the guy/girl that cheat whether they’re in serious relationship even in marriage. Well, except if they’re agree with open mind that both sides can see other person ( or this kind of relationship often call as “open relationship”).

My friend told me not everybody see the affair is the answer of relationship’s problem. That’s depend of how the person is thinking. And how he see a marriage as well. I won’t talk about how is life in marriage since I am still single and don’t know a damn thing about marriage. 

I’m just curious, ‘What happen after the love has gone?’ because I knew now not every love is last forever (believe, been there done that).  What’s keeping the couple stick together? Are they gonna quit the relationship like that? or even marriage? Are they trying to find new sparks/new love in other person? Even worse, the questions in my head become more pessimistic. “How do we know he’s a real?” – “How do we know he’s the One?” — “How do we know he will loyal to you?”.

So, what’s the answer if you were asked?!  Will you or won’t you?

Like the title from this post. I am confuse. Like a child who must choose between ice cream strawberry flavor or chocolate flavor. Like a girl who in first day to school, must choose between wearing pink dress  or blur dress. Like a birthday boy who must choose between bicycle or video game. Like teenage girl who must choose between go to prom night with school heartthrob or company best friend in hospital. Like a fresh graduate who must choose between work in thing she like or work in she is high paid.

People said follow your heart, but others said don’t lose your head. But what if that choice also blur for me? What if, I also don’t know what my heart wants or neither my head wants. I want use more heart, but head interfere when things don’t look like heart expected. Want to use more head, but i don’t have heart to be ignorance.

I feel floating in open sea, and there’s nothing I can use as my anchor. Just floating, waiting someone rescue me from this uncertainty. Waiting someone that can give me an anchor. Or… waiting some direction that i can swim to.

Ironically, as in right now, the radio is playing ‘Listen your heart’ by Roxette.