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Sorry Seems The Hardest Word | Stephanie's Closet

Sorry Seems The Hardest Word

After a month, I mustered up the courage to start writing again. This tendency is quite characteristic of me. Part of the reason was that you were on my mind, along with the memories we shared.

Frequently, women have a tendency to overcomplicate matters, whereas men often present things in a straightforward manner, allowing us to perceive them directly. We often attempt to decipher everything as if men were speaking in code. However, in reality, men tend to act based on their immediate priorities in a given situation, as they generally focus on one task at a time.

So, He’s not responding to your text

I’ve often wondered why it’s so difficult for you to send me a text and ask me about anything beyond the usual ‘Have you eaten?’ or ‘Good morning?’

Yet, at the same time, you’re not particularly swift in responding to my messages. You keep me waiting. It took an entire day, extending into the late hours of the night, for you to reply to my text. I can’t help but wonder why.

I fully acknowledge that not all men in the world are like that. I’m well aware that you are fully capable of texting promptly. So, why does it seem like the enthusiasm and effort have waned after we made a commitment?

I constantly provide myself with various reasons to rationalize your lack of response: “Perhaps he’s tied up with work.”
“Maybe he’s driving.”
“Maybe something urgent came up.”
“Perhaps he misplaced his phone.”
“Maybe he was in an accident.”
“Maybe something even worse..” — No, I never even contemplated this possibility

I always questioned why you weren’t much of a texter. You consistently responded that it’s just your natural disposition – that you’re not particularly fond of texting. Based on this, I presumed that you preferred phone calls. However, that didn’t seem to be the case either. So, I assumed you were more inclined toward face-to-face interactions. Yet, you never initiated discussions about meeting or making plans.

The suggestions and invitations always originated from me:
“Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend?”
“Would you like to meet this weekend?”
“Are you occupied over the weekend?”
“Could we possibly meet during the weekend?”
“Are you interested in going to this place next weekend?”
“Are you up for watching a movie next Saturday?”

I understood that you were essentially aligning with my preferences and adapting to my inquiries. However, that wasn’t what I wanted.

The challenge we consistently faced was how to communicate effectively with each other – that remained an ongoing issue.

So, He’s not Putting an Effort

I’ve received a lot of advice, and much of it has emphasized the importance of patience. People suggested that I should give you the time you need to focus on your priorities. I made a sincere effort to be patient and adjust my pace to match yours.

I’ve also been advised not to be too accommodating and to let things develop naturally. I’ve taken this to heart. I haven’t imposed any demands on our relationship and have allowed you to set the pace. However, it wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit that I secretly hoped you might miss me and perhaps take an impulsive step like calling me.

I waited.

It seems, though, that I’m always the one left waiting.
Waiting for your call,
waiting for you to confront your own feelings,
waiting for you to mature.

You seem to assume that my understanding and patience are limitless. You’ve treated me as if I’m a mere garnish on the side of your plate – there but not really important. How did our dynamic come to this point? Your actions suggest a lack of respect for me.

So, He’s Not That Into You

I used to consider myself intelligent, but now I realize I was naive not to recognize the clear signs you scattered everywhere. It’s time for me to stop denying reality and acknowledge that your feelings for me are not as strong as I hoped. That’s the end of the story.

It’s regrettable that our journey together concludes with you treating me in this manner. Once again, I find myself taking on the role of the mature one, providing closure for myself and possibly for you as well.

I’ve moved forward now and am prepared to embrace the path that lies ahead. Whether it leads to new love or more heartbreak, I’m open to it all. I’m determined to welcome every experience. I genuinely wish that you gain valuable insights from this and mature further, ready for whoever comes into your life next.