Another Fight with You

I don´t expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it, wouldn´t you?

So what happens now?

Time and time again I´ve said that I don´t care
That I´m immune to gloom, that I´m hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me, and they do

So what happens now?

Call in three months time and I´ll be fine, I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I´ll survive anyhow
I won´t recall the names and places of each sad occasion
But that´s no consolation here and now.
So what happens now?
This is a song lyrics ‘Another Suitcase Another Hall’ from EVITA. I put it because somehow it resonate.

Songs understand me

You know, sometimes when you’re in blue, songs understand you better  especially if the problem is your romantic relationship.

And I don’t know why broken heart songs seems so easy to create than happy songs. Really… why people suddenly become a poet when they are sad or in sorrow. Like sadness, loneliness, sorrow dig the creative nerve and voila! A poem is made. But, maybe it’s depends from the person. When I am sad, or angry, I don’t feel creative, I just want to kill people and crash him in to pieces.


I see you through smoky air, trying hard to control my heart. Still I refrain from talking at you. But, you know me well, I don’t need to explain. I gave all I could, but why you’re still call me your friend when you want me naked in your bed?

I am sure I am not being rude, but it’s your attitude that tearing me apart. Don’t call me at 3AM just to say ‘How you are missed me’, but then why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

I am such a fool for you. You’ve got me wrapped around your finger. And I’m in so deep. Don’t you know, I never wanted anyone like this, It’s all brand new. Can’t you feel the weight of my stare, you’re so close but still a world away. I need a little more

But what the hell, why do you think I come ’round like this on my free will? Wasting all my precious time.

And all left me so sore, the thing that makes me mad, is the one thing that I had,

I knew I’d lose you. You’ll always be special to me. You said I was on your mind. Will I forget in time?


So, can you guess, what songs that I make for this prose? 😀

Her and the Moon

*sigh*…. You know the urge to write something really can came from anywhere. For me, mostly came when I had a broken hearted *yeah, i know*, or something annoying or funny. And maybe and rarely came from PMS period. But this time, it just occurred when I was on my way back home in motorcycle.

It’s began from I watched ‘Her’ movie, by Spike Jonez.  The first time that I really acknowledge  from the movie is wow! you can type with only dictate to your computer and other things that we usually do with gadgets  when mobile like chatting, choosing music, read news, reply email you can do it by voice command. Right, Wow! how lazy is that?

Okay, okay. Now I am serious.  After I watched the movie, and talking with my friend, I was wondering, what is a relationship? What priority to fall in love? What make a relationship is real? It’s kind of absurd a person can fall in love with an OS. C’mon… even this movie won Oscar, but still, can you fall in love with only the voice of Scarlett Johansson without want to able to touch?

I love the screenplay, some moments really touched me. But I wonder, is it enough we build a relationship only by personality? Like Theodore and Samantha? The perfect Samantha is a perfect personality for a girlfriend (before she share her OS with other users beside Theodore).  Who want to be in that relationship?

And it brings me to my reflection when i was on the road. I am not be able to be in relationship just based on personality. It’s not ONLY ‘Yang penting personalitinya baik. Orangnya baik,’. Yes, all that is true, but I want physical reaction. I want attractive and good looking, but I also want flaws,  I want argument, I want seduction, I want make up sex 🙂 but at the end,.. i also learn, sometime you can’t have it all. Or can we?

Suddenly, I realise the Sky is light up with stars  and the Moon looks so beautiful.  Gosh, I am beat!