Close but Still Faraway

My mind is all tangled up right now – it’s 11:56 PM and I can’t seem to fall asleep. There’s work waiting for me to finish, but I just can’t concentrate on it.

It’s kind of crazy how we ended up together sometimes. It’s like this weird cosmic coincidence in the universe. And as I got to know you, you became like Jupiter to me, and I feel more like a sputnik sent from Earth on a one-way mission to explore it – not expecting to come back with results, a pessimist might say.

I thought I had crossed vast distances, like reaching China and standing on the Great Wall, but then it turns out I’m just facing the great wall of your heart that’s keeping me on the outside. I know you’re in there, and here I am, yelling and pleading for you to open the gate and let me in, but you just remain unmoved.

But hey, guess what? There’s a window, and I can catch glimpses of you from outside. Unfortunately, you don’t stay there for long. I can’t have a proper conversation with you, because you come and go. Your words seep through the keyhole from the other side, echoing in my ears, and it makes me want to just sit there, waiting for you to step out.

“What’s on your mind?” I often ask you. Sometimes you answer, and other times you just smile, especially when you look at me like you’re deep in thought. There’s a hint of doubt, a touch of loneliness in your eyes – they tell me stories that your words don’t reveal. Then, you retreat into your shell.

I once compared us to an old couple who’ve been together for ages, and oddly enough, you agreed. What does that mean, I wonder? But again, you never really explain what’s going on in your mind and what you’re feeling.

Both of us have been broken before, like having just one wing instead of a pair. Seeing the end of the road isn’t easy. However, let’s take things step by step, one at a time.