Cry

Do you ever feel you lost your voice? Not literally, but figuratively. I bet everyone does. It is what happened to me today. The truth is, i lost my voice because of pride and matter of egoistic character of a person. Really not fair. It is not because I can’t defend my voice, i try but did not succeed.

Funny thing, I don’t have any proof to defend my voice. I don’t have it yet. But, to bring some that proofs, I need to be convinced first. But no sign can give me some little hope. No sign that I can trust.

Back to me, I pretend it is there. I need to show it so I won’t lose my voice completely. But it feels like hanging on string. Every time i fight my voice again, i must swallow my pride and bite my tongue. So he wouldn’t know I don’t have anything.

Like hit the walls with tooth picks. on and on and on….so useless.

Is it over yet? Can I open my eyes? Is this harder as it gets? Is this what it feel like to really cry but you just can’t do it? When sometimes  what you need is shout, scream and cry, but nothing words come out. What do you feel?

 

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